• Friday, February 04th, 2011

Ever since I can remember, going back to the very early days of my childhood, I always lived with one deep wish in my mind and heart. It was a wish of hope that every human being in this world would have a chance to live a life filled with respect, health and peace. World, as I write these words now, I must tell you that I am now a much older and more mature man, yet, there is no change in my heartfelt wishes of my early years. I am a human being who always had a tremendous regard for GOD and HIS NATURE and till this very day, I still consider them to be my everlasting love. As a young boy I prayed and thought about God, people, and our human psyche. When I was faced with life’s forked road too early, but, yet, not too late, I made a decision. I chose to follow the unpaved road of God’s creation. This led me to help my Father work on our family’s farm, and although I was only ten years old, I soon discovered that there was no difference between planting, praying and waiting. I planted, prayed and waited and, as you might have guessed, I still plant, pray and wait.

It has been a burning desire of mine, ever since I was a young boy, to be able to draw and write, but life led me in another direction and I was unable to fulfill my dreams. However, I do believe in God and I always knew that there must have been a good life’s reason why this was so. As I continued growing up, I also continued having the same wishes and desires and I asked myself daily, “What am I doing? Why am I wasting time and what’s preventing me from writing?” I always felt the same way. I wanted to write and help God’s creation. I wanted to help the animals, birds, grass, flowers and trees. Mother earth’s soil, women and children were always of utmost importance to me and because I am a man, created by God, I always had a need to help every human being and everything God created. You might say that I was born a child who had a burning desire, an everlasting love, for Nature, a love which couldn’t be healed or destroyed. As life moved on, I always prayed to God and asked Him to please help me to write. At times I became discouraged and began to look at myself as an old apple tree with one remaining apple hanging at the end of its branch, but still I never stopped planting, praying and waiting.

In the year 2003, at the age of 64, my life’s long dream began to slowly turn itself into reality. One dark night, when Nature rested peacefully and the young children were dreaming, I woke up from my sleep. I woke up from my life’s long, crazy, beautiful dream. I felt, as I was waking up, that God was with me. That was the night and the very first morning when I knew what to write, but as I held my pencil in my hand I still asked God, “God, if I cannot help your Nature, please help me and stop me from writing.:” God DID NOT STOP me and I knew that this was my night. As the sun rose I followed the daylight, and as it set I followed the dark night holding that yellow pencil in my right hand. I still continue to follow each day and each night with my pencil in my right hand and I am happy to say that in 2004 I published my work in a book entitled, REFLECTIONS – PERSONALIZING LIFE, NATURE, MAN and GOD. I have been aware of all my life that God’s truth, was and is, very difficult to publish and sell, yet I never stopped planting, praying and waiting, and I continue to be close to God, as close as He allows me to be.

It is now Jan. 2011 and I continue, as usual, to pray to God. One morning as I sat by myself at my kitchen table, I held my rosary beads in my hands and prayed. I was nearing the end of my prayer, and as I was praying, my mind was wondering about my “loss for words” lately, so I took this opportunity to “speak to God” and to ask for His help. I held my rosary beads in my hands as I asked God, “Please God, help me to write.” At that exact moment I felt something “pulsating, beating” in my right hand, where I was holding the rosary beads and where my thumb and index finger were touching the cross of Jesus Christ. I felt the sensation of a heart beat. I then moved the cross around in various positions.

I was at a loss for words and couldn’t believe what was happening to me. Was this a real miracle? Am I, as a human being, worthy of this? I have my strong beliefs, but then again, what was this? A few minutes after this miraculous happening occurred, my wife, Mira, and my sister, Vera, walked through the front door and straight into the kitchen where I sat motionless, my head bent down, staring at my hand and the rosary. My sister spoke to me, but at first, I didn’t say a word so she said, “What in the heaven are you looking at and doing?” When I revealed what just happened my sister looked at me as though I were nuts and said, “Are you sure?” She even tried to hold the rosary and touch the cross but nothing happened. Both my sister and my wife just looked and said nothing. I am trying to make sense of what happened. As I prayed, I asked God, “Please God, lately I’ve been at a loss for words. Please, help me to write.” Is it that I got my answer what to write, in a most miraculous way? I cannot be certain, but I do have my own beliefs. I must tell you that I had chills throughout my body and heart. My eyes filled up with tears as I felt unworthy and asked God for His forgiveness.

The following day, the sun rose and set and once again, I sat in my kitchen on the same chair as I prayed and held the rosary in my hands, the cross of Jesus in my right hand and St. Mary in my left. I wondered if the miracle of yesterday would reoccur today and then I “felt” the pulsation in my left hand and a second later, another intense pulsation in my right hand. Whether this was a miracle for me to feel, may be questionable to you, but although I am just a human being and unworthy of all of this, I felt that I received a message and an answer to my prayers. World, I picture you as God’s flower with various petals of different color, and as I write these words and hold the rosary in my left hand, the hand close to my heart, I feel the warmth of “two beating hearts,” beating stronger and stronger just for you world, you are God’s beautiful flower. May my words stay fresh and warm forever. World, let us plant together for tomorrow, and let’s pray, live, and wait together and forever.

Category: Current Writings
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